For suffers of depression, each day can feel like a climb up the north face of the Eiger. It can be difficult to see anything worthwhile or joyful in the situation that seems to surround you on all sides. Of course at some cognitive level you can see that things might get better in this area or that area of your life, but deep down you feel thinks will go badly for you, rather like looking into the abyss. Worse almost than that depression saps your energy so that you feel that you want to shut the world out, even spending the day or days in bed. The statics make for alarming reading 1 in 4 of us will suffer from some mental illness and depression and anxiety are the most common mental health conditions.
In recent years there has been a concerted effort to talk about mental health and in particular stress, anxiety and depression. Stars like Stephen Fry talk openly and frankly about how it made them feel and how they changed their behaviour as a result of the illness. More than that many ‘ordinary’ people have stepped up and been brave enough to open up in public about their depression (something that takes far from ‘ordinary’ courage). Perhaps then there has never been such an open environment in which to realise that mental health issues can affect us all and that getting help is no different to asking for help with a chest infection or a broken arm.
The really good news is that there are effective treatments for both anxiety and depression and many who have gone before have recovered and perhaps most important now have the tools to help them in the future. A good place to start as always is your GP, while the GP may offer you some medication to help with your mood, they are likely to refer you to one of the so called talking therapies (which include counselling). The purpose is to offer a space, a non threatening one which allows you to open up to say what you feel and really look at those feelings in the cold light of day. It allows you to challenge the unhelpful and the faulty thought and to replace them with practical steps that put you back in the driver’s seat.
Many clients feel that their life is out of control and that there is little they can do to change things, yet with counselling you can look at the bits you do control and learn to accept the bits that you can’t. What is the point in worrying about the weather, it is going to happen however much you worry about it, you can’t control it. What you can control is an alternate plan if the weather is bad (or indeed good).
Depression is a state of mind but its one that there is a remedy for so if you can only do one thing for yourself talk to somebody today
In 2011 in Scotland there were 772 deaths by suicide a fall on 2010, but the number still represents 2 per day and that is 2 too many Perhaps if we were all a bit more comfortable about what is happening for the person with suicidal thoughts we would be able to do some good.
Suicide comes from a set of feelings and thoughts where the person feels helpless, that things can never get better and there is nothing they can do that will make their life better ever. They want to stop the pain the feelings that they are suffering. Continue reading
Into every life a little rain must fall goes the old saying. Yet sometimes it feels like a thunderstorm in our relationship. How do you begin to understand why, what is the trouble why have things changed so much?
It is of course important that you are both keep to know the answers to these questions and are prepared to change things for the better. You need to check that you are prepared to work to improve things, and remember that will mean change for both of you not just the person you feel is most at fault. Continue reading
While anger has its place if anger is not managed it can become a very dangerous thing.
“He’s just cut in front of me”; “Why is it always me that clears the kitchen”; “how dare they say that!” We all get angry at some time. Perhaps we are treated unfairly or with no respect or you feel you have to defend yourself. There is that moment when anger grips us and we seem to lose control in our need to get something changed and changed now. Continue reading
The shock of discovering your partner has had an affair can be overwhelming. The physical pain of the betrayal, all make it seem like the relationship is over. For many they know at that point that there is no way back that the relationship is over. What if you feel on reflection that you would like to try to salvage your relationship what next.
Most people want to know the details. Who, when, where, it is important that the wronged partner can hear honestly the detail of the affair, if they want even if that is painful for them. Being honest signals that there really is a desire to move past the infidelity and commit once again to their partner Continue reading
Many couples in the current economic climate find their relationship under more pressure than ever. Indeed for many it is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. For many they turn to marriage or relationship therapy in the hope that it will rescue their relationship and they can be happy once again.
However, most couples want to know does couples therapy work so in this article we will look at what it offers. Probably the key thing that couples therapy offers you space. A time that is set aside and an environment structured for you to talk to your partner about your relationship. Many find this intimidating at first Continue reading
Some of the most viewed articles are on relationships and the associated problems. Many of our articles talk about the steps that you can take to repair or fix your relationship. Simple steps like communicating more, sharing more and respecting each other. Yet a question that I am asked repeatedly belongs before we get to any saving of a relationship.
“How do you know if the relationship is worth saving?” Continue reading