The shock of discovering your partner has had an affair can be overwhelming. The physical pain of the betrayal, all make it seem like the relationship is over. For many they know at that point that there is no way back that the relationship is over. What if you feel on reflection that you would like to try to salvage your relationship what next.
Most people want to know the details. Who, when, where, it is important that the wronged partner can hear honestly the detail of the affair, if they want even if that is painful for them. Being honest signals that there really is a desire to move past the infidelity and commit once again to their partner Continue reading
Some of the most viewed articles are on relationships and the associated problems. Many of our articles talk about the steps that you can take to repair or fix your relationship. Simple steps like communicating more, sharing more and respecting each other. Yet a question that I am asked repeatedly belongs before we get to any saving of a relationship.
“How do you know if the relationship is worth saving?” Continue reading
Couples coming to relationship counselling do so for a variety of reasons. There are no end of environmental factors putting pressure on couples today from stretched family budgets, through pressure at work or interference from family and friends. Perhaps couples feel that relationship counselling is only for those couples where there is infidelity or where splitting up is imminent. While these are serious crisis and things that can be addressed in relationship counselling they are not the only reason you might want to book a session. Continue reading
It is the hollow emptiness that washes over us. We are separated from the known the familiar with no chance to retract our steps. We stand at the border of the undiscovered country, which heralds the ending of a relationship and comforting regular rituals to be replaced with the unknown. Continue reading
Many clients talk about a lack of confidence. Others feel that people or events hold them back judging their words and actions. This short article asks the reader to take 10 minutes to look at their confidence and see if it can be boosted.
Confidence is the bedrock of making changes in your life, even if you only have confidence that you want to change. What can be done to conquer our fears and make us more confident each day?
It is worth starting by looking at your insecurities perhaps writing them out on a sheet of paper. Perhaps you are afraid of speaking in public, perhaps you are worried you wear the wrong clothes or perhaps you are confused by others around you. Perhaps you are scared that you don’t understand what is going on and don’t want to appear stupid. As you look at each and name it – try to understand what is behind it – was there an experience, was it something someone said perhaps that is the way it was always handled when you were a child. What you are trying to do here is “know your enemy”; this is the first step in doing something about it.
Next we look at our achievements, and not necessarily huge things like running a marathon (but well done if you did) but anything which was a challenge for you and you completed. Perhaps you are afraid of dogs, but you went for a walk in the park, perhaps you spoke to your friend about a difficult subject, perhaps you raised a difficult issue with your manager at work or tried to sort out bullying. Again look at each and try to understand why you achieved it what drove you on through the fear. Continue reading
Self-Injury or self-harm is something that a large part of the population misunderstand and recoil from. There is an assumption that the self-harmer is trying to kill themselves or at least do themselves very serious harm. Yet self-harmers rarely have suicide in mind. Continue reading
This and other blogs have long expressed the opinion that problems in relationships are caused by problems in communication. There is a simple test that you can try with your partner to see if you do communicate effectively and can agree on a result you are both happy with.